Saturday, August 25, 2012
This isn't a real blog until there are PICTURES! Ha!
Here we have open face cucumber "sandwiches", topped with extra light cream cheese, garlic, and chicken. Salad is baby spinach, homemade caesar dressing, and the extra chicken that didn't fit on my "sandwiches".
This was the first time I made this; WAY too large of a serving. Didn't finish the cucumbers, saved one for later! Very tasty.
Another great goto, chicken, cauliflower, and broccoli on salad! I don't remember what I used as a dressing here, I think a touch of light caesar, with oil and vinegar.. Romaine lettuce, and lots of chili flakes! Yummy! The chicken, and veggies were cooked in the same pan, with a bit of no salt chicken broth, and some various spices!
All in all, I eat a lot of chicken, spinach, and broccoli!
Next month will be different, 'cause I'm more aware of how this works, and what I like/don't... I'm excited for some new ingredients, so I can have some darn variety! :)
Friday, August 24, 2012
I don't know if we're staying in this house while it gets reno'd but.. I have to say, having to pee with no door when your MIL is here is.. Mighty strange! LOL!
Today's breakfast was a poached egg with steamed spinach, lunch was three pieces of stewing beef, and 1/4 of a green pepper. I will probably have stewing beef and salad for dinner, since it's already cooked!
I am currently being pelted by a stuffed animal, so we'll end this for now!
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Thursday, August 23, 2012
Blah. Tonight was really hard, I almost gave in and had a slice of cheese. I cut a bunch up, put it on Jay's garlic bread, and gave him the rest to snack while dinner cooked. I am cooking him things I am craving. Tonight I cooked chicken schnitzel, and garlic bread. Our common denominator was the cauliflower/broccoli.. I put chili oil on it, chicken broth, a south of garlic, and some soy. It was so spicy!! I had plain chicken with some cajun spice, and spinach cooked in the same pan. Nothing to write home about, but it was food.
One lb at a time. One meal at a time. Everyday I don't give in, I can wake up happier the next morning knowing I am not cheating myself, or cheating my children. My girls deserve to have me in their life. Every time I want to have something I can't, I think of them, I think of them living without me.. and the pain they would feel. I don't want them to know that pain.
I have to do this. I have to take control of my life, I have to become responsible, I am not just answering to myself anymore.
This depression is crushing, and I feel like I'm losing my grip at time. Today I got upset at my baby for crying, I had to calm down, and walk away. Then I gave them cake because I felt bad for being upset with them. My eldest hit me really hard, and it hurt my feelings :(
I don't know if the mood swings are normal for this diet, but it's really strange.
I've also been suffering SERIOUS dizzy spells, every time I stand up.. I hold on to something, and my eyesight fades out, then I stabilise and am okay? It's bizarre, and I don't like it very much. I'm concerned that I am just going to pass out one of these days. I hope not.
Okay, I need to go have a shower.. take the dog out, and go to bed. Our house is undergoing some renovation... Pain in the ass!!
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
It's a bit of a big thing for me to swallow that I will have to eat like this for the rest of my life. I can't never sit down and eat a bag of chips without feeling guilty, and disgusting. I am working so hard. I couldn't throw away my hard work on chips, or candy, or a beloved toasted peanut butter sandwich.
It's kind of weird, it's like a death of the part of me that loves snacks. Jeez, I even have an email that says I like snacks. I used food to define me, to define my good memories. Every Christmas/Thanksgiving dinner I've hosted; would it have been as pleasant without the sweet potatoes, and fresh bread? Without the pumpkin pie, and cheesecake? Would my christmas cookie plates mean less if they were replaced with sugar free, flourless cakes?
It's a hard thing for me.. I have a gift when it comes to baking or cooking, and I feel like I can't use it. I feel like I've had a piece of my body removed, and I'm still in the denial stage, lol.
Like some ridiculous Kübler-Ross model, I haven't reached anger yet. Maybe I have.. I am angry. I am angry I let this happen, I am angry that to be healthy, to make healthy choices it costs DOUBLE what it does to make bad ones. I hate that I can't go out to dinner with my fiancée because every restaurant puts vast amounts of salt, and who knows what else in their food! But I could get a salad, and eat it with no dressing! AND PAY DOUBLE WHAT THE COST OF A DAMN HAMBURGER COSTS!
It's frustrating, to say the least. I am not rich by any means, which unfortunately limits my choice when it comes to food. Every morning I have spinach and eggs. I've gotten to the point where I don't even put pepper on it 'cause I don't care. It's just fuel. I am just eating it because I have to. I crack an egg into a measuring cup, mix it up, put spinach on top, cover with plastic wrap, and microwave it for a minute. Fast flavourless breakfast. But, I wouldn't trade my flavourless breakfast for my beloved toast.
There are low carb toast options, a flax bread the ontario nutrition company carries.. It's 6 dollars (I think) for a loaf. Yeah. I have a hard time paying 3 dollars for the regular bread! Why isn't it 99 cents anymore?!
The cost of living is skyrocketing, and the pay is not changing. It's upsetting.
Also, I appear to get massive headaches from artificial sweetners. I need to pick up some stevia, and see if that helps. Pfft with all my money, right?
Oh; I should also mention, today is my wonderful daughter's birthday! She is 2 years old :) it's crazy how fast they grow. Her and her sister are the main reason I am doing this. I want them to learn to make proper choices when it comes to eating. My parents never gave me those tools, I am still learning..
And, on that bombshell... I must end this post!
Good luck, and lots of love!
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