Yesterday was hard.

So, last night my fiancée wanted to take me out for dinner. Well, he can't, and he didn't realise that. I told him not to go without because of me.. I feel bad enough, you know?

He ordered a combo from a local chinese place, and shared it with the girls. It was nice not to have to cook, except that I had a complete breakdown and ended up crying in the bathroom. I don't even know why I was crying.

I battle depression, and it's been really crappy this past week.. Usually if I eat something I like, it makes me happy enough I can continue on. I'm growing supremely bored with bland food. It's like I don't want to eat at all, and I end up staring at my plate for at least 15 minutes before I eat it. I am too used to good cooking, I think if you cut out salt you're not cooking properly.. It's against my nature!!


So I'm about to heat up leftover chinese food for my girls. This is going to be torture. I've yet to meet an asian food I don't like. I'd kill for some dim sum, sushi, and canadian chinese food!!
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Tomorrow marks 7 days!

So, I've been thinking.. I am going to have to live through the holiday season. I usually bake so many awesome things!! I won't be able to go apple picking with my kids, and make awesome apple cakes and pies.

This is going to be tough. Really tough.
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This too shall pass, right?

I'm suffering from serious snack cravings (I'd like some doritos, and some nibs licorise please!). I don't know why but I am also very easily agitated today..

Maybe the headache I've had for almost 3 weeks is the cause of that.

I have not cheated! I made homemade caesar dressing today (egg yolk, vinegar, lime juice cause I didn't have lemon, dijon, pepper, and canola oil!) Of course I didn't put salt, or anchovies.. Or cheese, but it's pretty good! I have some fake bacon bits (they're soy) and they are low in sodium/carbs/fat/sugar so I put some of those in there. I don't know if that was okay, but to my understanding of the diet they are...


Dinner was a pork loin chop, some cabbage, and some broccoli and cauliflower. I am still craving chips, but am not hungry.

I'm having a hard time dealing with the idea that I have to eat like this for the rest of my life, but I know I won't be on phase 1 forever. I can't wait to get on with it.. I am impatiently waiting for the 16th!! I want to know if this is doing anything for me!
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Hmm!

I have been suffering from back pain for the last month or so, today it's been horrible! I don't usually sleep through the night 'cause of the pain.
I don't know why it's been so bad! Plus this damn headache!

I'd love a piece of toast. I had egg whites, broccoli and spinach for breakfast instead... It was pretty good! Haha :)
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Depression

Love when that wonderful despair hits. I feel like crap right now :(

I feel like I'm not doing this diet right, and I'm just wasting my time.

Wow, I can't believe I already feel like this! I need to sleep ugh. Sorry.
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Day three!

Well, I am missing salt. Which is to be expected, I suppose. I was a pretty intense salt fiend prior.. Maybe that's why I've always had such a hard time losing weight..

I had picked up a "mango flavoured" salad dressing which fit the guidelines of Dr. Poon's diet.. Well, it tastes like complete butts. I have solved this problem, and have figured out my own recipe. Oil, vinegar, lime juice/zest, and a sprinkle of splenda.. Pepper, too if you're in the mood. It's like.. limey and great. I love lime!  I would be extra fabulous with some grated ginger (but I don't have any!)..

I am not hungry on this diet, though. So, that's a good thing. I am able to have my coffee with cream (which is how I drank it prior to dieting) so that's amazing! I love coffee. Whenever I am having a sugar craving, I just have a packet of splenda in my coffee instead... :)

I can't wait 'til the 16th of August! That is my next appointment.. I hope I am showing some kind of results!!

I am still positive. The support I am getting from friends is wonderful, too.

<3 Much love..