However did you come to be here?

Friday, August 23, 2013

Well, I got my mojo back.

I am back, jack! 

I have been struggling. I'm not going to deny I am up 20lbs. I'm sure half is water, and half is fat. My clothes fit me the same- in fact, I went out and got myself a new pair of jeans. SIZE 14 BABY! My chest is the only thing I'm noticing a difference in size (LOL!) 

I've been eating well, and trying to run again, which is hurting me, but I love it too much to stop right now. 

Yesterday and today's breakfast was zucchini frittata, very delicious! Lunch yesterday was healthy chicken salad, today's was pork loin and spinach salad, dinner was meatloaf yesterday, and tonight was steak and baked zucchini! There was more before that, but I don't remember what it was! I think I had something awesome, haha.. 

I'm trying to get more positive, the problem with me is I get stuck in a horrible cycle of depression, it leads me in a circle and I just fall deeper into depression. Food is what makes me feel better. Apparently I'm a binge eater now, I never was before this diet.. So that's a little alarming. I have such disordered thoughts about food, I hope I can get over it, and just eat when my body needs it.. I don't know why I can't. I don't know why I'm always thinking about food, or my next meal, I have so much on my proverbial plate.. How do I have time to worry about food? Really! With two young kids, you'd think I'd just be too busy to care? I don't know. It's weird. 

I wonder if it's because when I was a teen I was literally starving because my father was a drug addict, so I have the urge to eat all the food, I don't know. Anyways, here's a picture of Ember being a turkey in her table.