Weigh in day is nigh!!

Well, it's nearing that time again. Weigh in day is nigh!! I really hope I did we'll these past two weeks, I had one bad day.. Where I ate a donut, and some fruit. Hopefully my strictness every other day has made up for it!

I am coming to terms with the holiday season. It is going to be hard not to enjoy the chocolates, the cheese and the root veggies. I know I will have screw ups, but I am not going to give up, I owe this to myself and my kids. The baking will be the hardest, since I usually bake for my friends an family.. I want Christmas to be special for my kids, I am not going to change the tradition of baking together, I just won't. It's something I find important, instead I will just make smaller batches and give most away!

I want to be able to start running in the spring, so I have to keep on it, my legs would probably explode if I started running now at 279lbs. We will see :)

I am never getting fat again.



Recipe for "Egg bites"

4 whole eggs, plus two whites
1 green onion, chopped
1/2 a green pepper, chopped
1 1/2 cups spinach, chopped
1/2 cup water
1 tbsp cream (or milk)
3 slices of cheddar cut in half (or crumbled, like I did)
Half salt and pepper to taste

Preheat oven to 350 Fahrenheit, oil muffin pan with olive oil, or spray. Chop veggies and sautee them in a pan (this cuts down on sogginess in the finished product), crack eggs and egg whites into a bowl, add vegetable mixture (add seasoning here), mix well then ladle into greased muffin tin. Place one half of each slice of cheese onto the top of each egg cupcake, bake for about 20-25 minutes. Enjoy!

This recipe made 6 egg bites.

You can add anything to this recipe (meat or veggie wise) and it would be amazing if you mixed in a cup of bisquick or carbquik.

I did this nutrition fact with my fitness pal, so I can't guarantee it's accuracy, but it looks close enough for my happiness, obviously serving size is one egg bite.

Weigh in..

Well, I should have known. That -11lbs I lost last weight in was too much for me to replicate. With all the hardships I went through, I'm happy to report that I did not gain, but only lost .5 lbs.. So, a half a pound. I am sad to say, but .. A loss is a loss, and is better than a gain. Everyone has a hard time once in a while. I ate pizza in depression, but now am back on track. I have decided I won't be buying much"processed" foods anymore, I eat too many of the sugar free chocolates, I know they are not "free" and I think it's just better if I don't buy them anymore. As much as I love them, they also make me extremely sick.. But that's thanks to the effects of malitol.

Anyways, I have been down in the dumps, and very weak. I have been keeping a food journal, and I swear it's just making me worse. I don't know. I hope my next weigh in is better! I will enjoy my hard candies though, I don't want to binge on those, and they satisfy my sweet tooth. It's all about finding balance, I suppose. I am trying to figure this out, but I know this will always be a life long struggle. I am glad I haven't felt like I can't do this, times get tough, and everyone messes up. Get back up, and keep going at it.

Cheating implies that you get away with it. I don't get away when I eat bad food, I just cheat myself out of success! I can do this.. I will. I will be happy, and I will be healthy... For my kids, and for myself.

So..

I have been truckin' on.. This lifestyle is interesting, it's so simple. I am starting to embrace the more simple things.. My house needs to become simplified. I used to think I liked knick knacks and trinkets, now I think I am over run by junk!! I want to trash it all!! DP probably does not share my views, but wow! I just want to throw everything out! I want a new start to my new life, these objects are burdens just like this extra 100lbs encased around me. I wish to shed myself of both!

But when? When so I have time for me? Let alone for a massive undergoing such as a giant purge. I need to set a date, give the kids to MIL and just do it. Sigh, I don't know!

I wish I had someone to help me! I am not organized but I want to remove as much as I can so I don't need that much organization skill haha!

The 6th was my birthday, it was a bit of a bad day, My sister came up from Brampton to spend some time with me.. She bought me lunch.. So I had a bad day. I'm hoping I am back in ketosis now, though, I have been super strict, and will be until my weigh in. I hope the few bad days I had didn't ruin these two weeks. But, as I've said before my "bad days" now are way better than the "good days" I had before!!

Right now I am snuggled up on the couch with my two year old.. We are sharing three blankets, as she watches her favourite show. I am so happy right now.


Now, should I get up from this lovely warm spot with her, and clean? I should, but spending time with her one on one seems more important. Ahh.. Maybe when they go to bed tonight!!

Haha!

Ahh Halloween.

Halloween: my favourite holiday. I love horror, and all that fun cheese.

This year I was able to live it through my children, which was fabulous. My 2 year old didn't care about the rain, and wind.. So in turn, neither did I. We started at 6:30, and didn't get in till 9:30 .. Both my kids were happy as clams. We sorted candy, and I was not tempted. After the whole shebang, we still had to go grocery shopping.. I stuffed some candies in my pockets for the girls 'cause they hadn't had dinner yet, we were Going to take them to McDonald's in the Walmart. Well, they were closed.. We got our shopping done, and hit McDonald's on the way home. I had a left over salad, and half a steak in the fridge, so I had that.

Yesterday, the chocolate in the cupboard got to me.. DP bought a bunch on sale for himself. Knowing it wasn't the girls candy made it ... Accessible to me. I never am tempted by their treats, cause they are for the kids. Ugh. So I for sure knocked myself out of ketosis.. I am not proud, in fact am ashamed. It is I hard to just say no. It's ridiculous how weak it makes me feel to think I can't even ignore a damn mini chocolate bar. My willpower is strong, but .. The kids screaming, and not listening stresses me out.. I never learned how to cope with stressful situations. My way of coping was to eat, or do something horrible to myself. Both very unhealthy, yet both still ingrained into my being

This diet is not only about food, it is about coming face to face with the reasons behind why I eat. Did my parents teach me this? Did they not hug me enough, is it just my nature? Am I doomed to be unhealthy my entire life? And will I ever be able to over come this. I want to replace my stress eating with stress exercising. I think that is at least productive. I think I need to seek some guidance, I need to learn some we coping skills.

Ugh I don't know!

I have started using my fitness pal, and now that I am tracking my calories, ontop of carbs.. I never hit my daily recommended intake. Is this a bad thing? Even the day where I ate the chocolate, I was still 500 calories under the recommended minimum for my body.. Just something interesting to think about.

I will be asking my doctor when I see her next about all of this. And the dizziness has returned.

Alright, good luck!

Yesterday's adventure

Well! Yesterday, I had my weigh in. -11lbs!! I am soo proud of myself, my fiancé took me out for an early birthday dinner which was fabulous.. I cheated a little, but had a a french onions soup, steak.. I had a slice of a butternut squash, half of a slice of cheesecake. (my daughter ate more than me) and a Cobb salad! Okay, I messed up, but truthfully, I usually give myself a great once a week. I am a firm believer that a diet can't be successful if you are unhappy with it. Because I let myself slip up on occasion, it's more doable for me. I didn't eat even half of my food!! I brought half my steak, and salad home, (I let my daughters eat the bad thing leftovers LOL they had their own food too don't think I'm that cheap) and didn't even touch the potatoes on my plate!

I am proud of myself, especially because I didn't have a perfect time.. But that's still awesome! I am going to look into the raspberry ketone supplement you can get (and yes, I will make sure I am happy with the ingredients.

I have stopped relying on the protein powder for breakfast, doesn't seem to work for me! Now I know :)


Anyways, that puts my total loss up to 41lbs!!

Weigh in day!

Well, I'm only down another 3lbs! Which brings my total weightloss down to 30.5lbs!

I am a little upset but happy that it was a loss, and not a gain! The next two weeks I really need to shape up! I don't need bad habits! I had a salad at McDonald's today.. It was that, or don't eat.
My mommy is down visiting from Quebec for the week, which will be nice for the times when I would be alone and dying for a treat! She will be there to be extra accountable to. I had a bad week. I need to be extra strict!! I can continue, and I will lose more! I still haven't gotten my hair cut, but when I hit 50lbs down, I am getting a new purse!! Haha!

Feast.

Thanksgiving was horrible for me. I was doing good... Until I made some sweet potatoes for my DP! Then the next day i made an apple crisp... So I messed up. I'm back on track, and that's what matters, I suppose!

I have been really busy, my kids have both decided to become little bundles of complete terror!!! Last night I almost gave in to a glass of wine due to them making me cry a few times throughout the day..
I made a bunch of breakfasts up for the week(think crustless quiche) I have been anti mornings my whole life, so having babies and having to make two different breakfasts in the am is not something I enjoy doing.

The wonderful thing about this diet is you can eat! You'd be surprised though at how little I snack now that it has to be a healthy snack! Though... I'd eat a piece of that apple crisp for a snack right now LOL.

I am going to a baby shower on Sunday.. Going to try very hard to stay on plan.. At worst maybe a little phase two.. My doctor said I'm almost there, which is alright! I don't think I'll fully switch to phase 2 though, maybe every few days!

I am a bit afraid of my weigh in next though.. Ahh weigh ins are always scary!