Personal Challenge.

"This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality. Embrace this moment. Remember, we are eternal, all this pain is an illusion." tool ~ parabola

I draw a lot of my motivation, and happiness from music. I don't know if that makes sense, but there are just songs that just blow my mind, and make me feeling amazing.


I started a personal challenge.. 50lbs by June 2013. I think it's doable..

Photo 1, January 1st 2013. A few others on a facebook group I am apart of are doing the same kind of thing, a personal photo challenge. It is a bit humiliating posting a full body photo of myself. I would like to mention, though, this is AFTER already losing 50lbs, so.. Just imagine what I looked like before! Yuck.

I have have 100lbs to go to be 170lbs, at 5'9" that is a pretty okay weight. I probably won't reach that goal due to excess skin.. Sadly. It is already looking pretty droopy. While you can't really tell from this photo, my legs are much smaller than my upper body. I wore a size 18 pant before starting my diet-- most people my size are into 24-28+ sizes. I can't wait to lose weight off my midsection, and arms.

Awesomeness about this picture? Both the pants, and shirt were too small for me before (Both XL sizes, but running a bit on the smaller XL size on the shirt), they're both baggy on me now! Awesome, right?



Being healthy is hard, but I am busting my ass. I have to complete this month of "clean" eating. (ie, no tastes, cheats, or badness) and I will be graduating to "PHASE 2" meaning.. I can have more carbs per serving. Which is a super exciting concept to me, I can't wait to start trying some recipes I've found.. I would like to experiment with baking, as well! I have a hungarian dessert that I made a "real" one for Christmas.. it is essentially cookies, layered with a buttercream, and pastry cream filling... and apricot preserves. Topped with dark chocolate. The only thing is I don't know if I will be able to find a low carb apricot jam.. I have seen some "spreads" at the ontario nutrition store, so I will definitely be looking into those! The serving size of them is very small, a slice like maybe 5cm by 5cm! I will have to do some math, and stuff to see if it's actually doable for my diet. I bet it will be, and it will be delicious!


Anyways, feelin' a bit better over here lately, though I have had a headache for 2 days. Ugh. Horrible! It was a migraine, but now it's just down to a dull headache. I hope it goes away soon.. It's hard to be motivated to clean up my house when I can't bend down! My head and eyes are trying to buldge out of my head!